Chocolate hits the spot..

The other day DH & I were driving home and we stopped at the gas station to get some drinks. DH is a candy fanatic so of course he grabbed some candy too. While we were driving he held the chocolate bar up to my mouth (I was driving) and asked if I wanted a bite. Typically I would have said NO.. but this time I took a bite. DH sat back in his seat and started laughing and said... (these were his exact words) "So it is true... when a woman is on her period she craves chocolate!" LOL. I thought it was too funny that he noticed something like that.

Last night I was shopping for some last minute gifts when I came across these truffles @ Target. They are my absolute favorite chocolate truffles ever! Of course I grabbed a bag to take home and indulge in them when DS had gone to bed. They are so smooth and delicious.. I highly recommend you run out to Target and grab yourself a bag. They are on sale right now ;-)

Welcome back..

Okay, I am back! No more pity party, no more tears, I am back. Positive that NEXT month will be our month! This new cycle I am trying something new. I've noticed that around O time I don't see a lot of EWCM. EWCM is a very important part of conceiving. It's a "sperm friendly" mucous that helps the sperm get to their destination ;-) A lack of EWCM could mean the sperm can't move freely and get to the egg. Therefore I have decided to try a lubricant called Pre-Seed. Pre-Seed has been very successful with helping people get pregnant. It is a "sperm friendly" lub that helps the sperm move freely and reach the egg. The review on the product are outstanding. Most people become pregnant their first cycle using it. I ordered some last night and hopefully that will help make the difference this month.

DH & I were both so disappointed this past cycle. I guess we both thought a BFP was on its way... but instead AF arrived. Hopefully this new cycle is it!

Early Christmas Present...

Today I got an early Christmas present!

Are you dying to know what it is??

Well I am going to share this news with my blog readers before anyone else, including DH..

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AF ARRIVED ONE DAY EARLY!!!

*SOBS*

Today sucks! I am such an emotional mess. This is the first cycle I have ever cried when AF arrived. The past few cycles I've tried to remain positive and just tell myself "there's always next time"... but today... today there is no positive pep talk. Today I just want to cry and throw myself a pity party.

I feel like a failure. And for anyone that has TTC and was unsuccessful knows just what I mean. I feel like something is wrong with me. Like I am broken. A woman's body is made to create and bear children, and here I am unable to do that. I just feel like poop. I HATE wanting something so bad and having no control over it. It hurts.

I could go on and on about how depressed and shitty I feel, but I'm just adding fuel to my own pity party fire. Just thought I'd update to let you know I failed. Yet again.

Yup, you guessed it, "there's always next time...."

Where are you second line??

I know I am not the best updater.. but do you really want me to update daily about CM & sore BBs?? LOL. I didn't think so!

The last few days I have been experiencing:

• very sore BBs
• nausea
• backache
• headache
• fatigue
• heartburn
• dizziness
• irritable
• mood swings
• movement of the uterus
• excessive CM
• increased sense of smell

Every test I take is either BFN or looks like a possible evap! I am starting to get really frustrated! I am currently 12 DPO, so still a bit early, but plenty of people get their BFP this early! Maybe I am just not one of those

people :(

If AF shows on Monday (when she's due) I think I will be devastated!! This cycle has been so different then the others! How I feel right now is not like the norm. I can barely get myself up to do anything! I don't wanna clean, cook dinner, nothing! I just want to lay in bed and sleep!! This is not like me!

I just hope to see those two pink lines soon.. I can't take this waiting game any longer! AND I'm tired of seeing BFNs!!!

This is an example of what I keep seeing on my tests. It's driving me insane. Why can't it just get darker and more believable?? (Those white dots mark where I see the line). Do you see what I see??

Looking for cute ideas...

I know, I know.. I am due for an update!

Today I am 8-9 DPO. According to FF (fertilityfriend.com) I O'd on Dec 6th... making me 8 DPO.. I kinda think I O'd on Dec 5th.. making me 9 DPO. Either way it's too early to test and get that BFP... but if there's one thing I've learned about ME+TTC is that the 2ww... aka: 14 days of WAITING... is completely IMPOSSIBLE!! So instead of stocking up on expensive tests just to pee on them when I KNOW there isn't

gonna be two pretty pink lines, I stocked up on cheap $ store ones =) Today I took one with FMU... I'm sure if I asked anyone else if they see a second line, they'd say no, but I swear I do! LOL. It could very well be an evap line, therefore I can't officially say I got my BFP... but I have a lot of hope right now!! It's funny how I can stare so hard at a stark white test and swear I see a line! I am hoping in the next few days that line I SWEAR I see... starts to get darker and darker.

So I've been meaning to post this... I'd like some little clever ideas. IF I get my BFP in the next week, or at least before Christmas (which I should know before Christmas) how should I tell DH? I want cute and clever ideas... so create a FREE account, and post a comment on here giving me your idea. (you might actually be able to leave a comment even if you don't have an account, I'm not sure)... anyhow... I know I have at least 5 friends reading this blog... so give me your ideas!! =)

xoxo,

TTC #2

TTC Lingo

I don't know how many of you following this blog are familiar with TTC Lingo.. So I figured I'd create a blog to help you better understand what I'm saying.

TTC- Trying To Conceive (you knew that, right?)

AF- Aunt Flow (aka: period)

BFP- Big Fat Positive

BFN- Big Fat Negative

FMU- First Morning Urine

DPO- Days Past Ovulation

O- Ovulation

DTD- Do The Deed (Intercourse)

BBT- Basal Body Temperature

BBs- BooBies

BD- Baby Dance (Intercourse

CD- Cycle Day

CF- Cervical Fluid

CM- Cervical Mucus

CP- Cervical Position

DH- Dear Husband

DS- Dear Son

EDD- Estimated Due Date

EPT- Early Pregnancy Test

EWCM- Eggwhite Cervical Mucus

C-CM- Creamy Cervical Mucus

D-CM- Dry Cervical Mucus

S-CM- Sticky Cervical Mucus

hCG- Human Chorionic Gonadotropin

HPT- Home Pregnancy Test

IB- Implantation Bleeding

LH- Luteinizing Hormone

LMP- Last Menstrual Period

LP- Luteal Phase

OPK- Ovulation Predictor Kit

PCP- Primary Care Physician

PG- Pregnant

POAS- Pee on a Stick

Pos- Positive

Neg- Negative

I think that about sums it up. There is A LOT of abbreviations people use.. I actually just put the terms I will be using.

So for example, when I say I am on CD 14 with a Pos OPK and I have lots of EWCM... I mean I am on CYCLE DAY 14 with a POSITIVE OVULATION PREDICTOR KIT (TEST) and I have lots of EGGWHITE CERVICAL MUCUS.

Hope this helps any of you that were confused by my first post... and possibly confused by my future posts! =)

xoxo,

TTC #2

Our TTC journey so far..

After much thought, I decided to create this blog to record this TTC journey. When we first started trying I knew deep down it was going to take some time, but like everyone, I hoped we would be some of the lucky few that get pregnant their first try.

The first cycle looked promising. I tested (with a blue dye) and I could swear I saw a line. Even my DH thought he saw a line too. But the next day AF arrived and I knew it was over.

The second cycle I tried to relax and thought maybe if I didn't chart or do OPK's it would happen on it's own. Nope. Wrong again.

The third cycle was a HUGE let down. I officially became a POAS addict. Thank heavens for $ store test.. they help feed my addiction without being too costly. All the $ store test were negative, but I was also testing early. I had no signs of AF, and on the day AF was due I tested with a FRER. BFN! The next day I was still late, tested again. BFN again. I took a test every morning with FMU for about 4 days. My doctor ordered a quantitative hCG test.. the next morning the nurse called to say my numbers were less then 2 -- which is a BIG BIG BIG fat negative! I was hoping I would have at least a 5, anything I could obsess over. Once I got my results back I knew it was over for that month. A few days later AF arrived. I guess I must have ovulated late.

After such an emotionally hard cycle, I decided to start charting again, and this time I bought a BBT and started temping.

I am now currently on cycle 4. I got a positive OPK on CD 14 along with a big drop in my temps. CD 15 my OPK was negative and my temps went up. They have stayed up since then. On CD 19 (4 DPO) my temp dropped. It went from 97.78 to 97.29. I am *thinking* maybe (if I am pregnant this cycle) that was my implantation date. Although it's more common to have implantation between 6-10 DPO, it is still very possible to have implantation 4 DPO. Also on CD 19 I had A LOT of C-CM! Today (CD 20) I still have a lot of C-CM and I have really bad backache. Almost like the backache I get about 12 hours before AF arrives. But AF is not due to arrive for another 9+ days.

Maybe I am over analyzing these "symptoms" because I desperately want to see a BFP this cycle.. but I really hope this is it for me.

I really enjoying charting my temps, along with using OPKs. It's amazing to be this in touch with your own body!

Here is my chart, for those of you that understand charting... http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/24d59a

xoxo,

TTC #2