What NOT to say to a TTCer..

On one of the other blogs I follow the lady had posted this.. I thought it was too funny (and way to true) to not repost on here. Enjoy!

What NOT to say to a TTCer.

"Just Relax."
Thanks for that gem! So useful and helpful to my situation.
I'll tell you this: the first 6 months, I was SO relaxed. I was Al Bundy, hands down my pants while sippin a brewsky and watching TV, relaxed. Guess what? That didn't make me pregnant! I know, hard to believe, right?!

"Just get really drunk, then do it!"
You're probably right! I bet alcohol really kicks the old reproductive plumbing into gear! I bet all the infertility drug companies are marketing Absolut in pill form as Clomid and charging all us dumbass infertiles triple. Fucking geniuses!
Just because someone you know, or a friend of a friend of a sister's brother in law got pregnant at a massive kegger, doesn't mean that it was the alcohol. It was the fact that she forgot to take her pill and didn't make the guy wear a condom. I know it sounds really OUT THERE, but trust me.

"Just Adopt! As soon as you do, you'll get pregnant!"
Wha wha what?? I really don't see the relation between making the decision to adopt and getting pregnant. If you're thinking it would make me relax, you're wrong (and also, relaxation does not a baby make. See above).

"Try *this* position!"
Really? I've tried top, bottom, top then bottom, bottom then top, froggy style, doggy style, wheel-barrow, reverse cowgirl, from the side, and in the ear. I've been screwed 7ways to Sunday until the cows came home, put on their pajamas and watched Leno. None of them have worked so far, but I bet THAT position will do it!

"Stand on your head after sex."
Hey, I'll try that! I'll also make sure to kick you in the face, after I recover from my very serious
neck injury and my chiropractor says I can kick people in the face again.

"Go on vacation!"
You could be correct. First, I will try relaxing. If that doesn't work, I will spend a ton of money on a vacation. It must be the magical combination of sand crotch and semen and friction. It doesn't even matter when you go - I've heard that you automatically ovulate every day at noon in Cancun. Siesta my ass! They're all making babies!

"Put eggwhites in your vagina"
You're gross. Don't talk to me ever again. Ever. Also, don't ever plan on getting pregnant, because your husband will permenantly lose the ability to create an erection after you suggest this.

"Have more sex!"
Really? Sex makes babies? I TOTALLY wasted that $5000 deposit at Storkbabydelivery.com. I better get a refund! I wonder if they are a BBB member??

"Have fun trying!"
Ok, even I know this is innocent. I know people say this because they are uncomfortable and are trying to be positive. But it's obnoxious. If you say this, stop immediately.

"I wish I could give you some of my fertility, because I. Am. Fertile!"
This could be best shown by example, I think.
What? You lost both of your legs in a tragic sledding accident? Wow! I wish I could share my legs with you, because I have TWO and I am so lazy. I hate walking around. I would sit all the time if I could, but I just have so damn many legs!
*do you see what I did there? rubbed my legs in your stump-ass face?*
Please do not rub your fertility in my face. I think you're an asshole, and I keep that to myself. Also, I think your ass looks fat in those pants, yet I refrain. Please: return the favor.

"When are you going to start a family?"
AKA: When are you going to have kids? When are you going to get pregnant already? Have you started trying for a baby? Why not? Tick tock!
Oh my sweet baby jesus christ! If there was an Emmy for nosiest motherfucker, you would win! Ask once, and if you don't get an answer, then TAKE A HINT!

Here's the bottom line: The only right thing to say is "I'm sorry, that really sucks. I hope it happens for you soon." It also doesn't hurt to just listen.

Past 3 months of charts

I am trying not to over analyze, get too excited, or anything else... but my chart is looking REALLY good this month (and really different from the previous two charts)!! Last cycle my LP was 11 days, the cycle before that it was 13 days. I am currently 11 DPO and my temp is the highest it's been this entire cycle. I probably sound lame but I can't wait for tmw morning.. I wanna see what my temp looks like!! LOL. Even though my temp and chart are looking really good... I still keep getting BFN's.. which is kinda depressing.. but that's what I get for testing early! lol.

Well.. here's hoping this cycle is my lucky one!

I know I said we aren't actively trying, but I think I said that more for myself.

I have been A LOT more relaxed this cycle, except for now. LOL.

The Last Few Weeks..

I've had a few weeks to cool down, get my head on straight, and get my life back into prospective. I know a few weeks seems to be a short period of time to do all of that, but somehow I managed it.

This post isn't to inform anyone that we are still TTC, nor that we are pregnant, it's mainly just for me to get my feelings out, and I guess let everyone in.

Statistics show that if you are under 25 you have a 1 in 4 chance of becoming pregnant, meaning that it should take 4-5 months to conceive. I was on cycle 6 and still NOTHING. I am healthy, young, and appear to have no major problems to prevent me from getting pregnant, so why had I not yet conceived? Looking back on my charts I BD around my O date making my chances HIGH for becoming pregnant, yet nothing was happening! DH & I talked one night (after many days of depression) and he suggested I go see my doctor. The next day I scheduled an appt with a new OB.

REWIND: After DS was born I had the mirena put in. The 1st year I had no problems with it (except I lost a lot of weight and could never gain weight using it) the second year I had lots of problems with cysts on my ovaries. After having enough with the painful cysts I decided to have my IUD removed (plus I wanted to start TTC). My uterus was tilted so my doctor couldn't remove the IUD, I had to go in for "surgery" (put to sleep so they could remove it without hurting me) and get it removed. After having it removed I let my body go back to normal. We decided we were gonna start TTC so I made an appointment with my doctor to make sure I was in top shape and ready. My doctor refused to refer me to an OBGYN, pretty much said there was no such thing as a "pre-conception appointment". After she refused I called the appointment desk to get an appointment with a new doctors, in hopes THAT doctor would refer me. Long story short- I ended up NEVER getting a referral to an OBGYN and had to settle for an appointment with a NP. At the appointment the NP was confused why I was even there. I told her why I was there, and she said there is nothing they can do until we've tried for over a year. She never ran any tests, never asked any questions about mine or my DH's history, didn't ask me anything! Her only advice was to have sex every other day from CD10 to CD20 (didn't even ask how long my cycles are) and come back when I was pregnant, or unsuccessful for 13 months. By this time I was so irritated with that doctors office that I just gave up with the whole pre-conception appointment.

FAST FORWARD: 6 months later I'm still not pregnant and wondering what the heck is wrong with me! I called my new doctor in hopes I could get a "pre-conception" appt I had previously wanted. Luckily my new doctors office scheduled one for me. I went in last Friday and met with my new OBGYN. First of all, he's amazing! He took his time, never rushed me, listened to my concerns, and explained everything in detail. He was fantastic! Second of all, unlike the previous NP, he actually wants to run tests. He ordered 7 lab tests to check everything from my progesterone to my prolactin. He also put DH & I on a "schedule" as to when we can BD and when we can't. He is giving us 3 months to successfully conceive before he is going to perform a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) which checks to see if my fallopian tube is blocked. Because of a past medical problem the chance of having a blocked fallopian tube is high. The Dr. also wants to check DH's sperm count. I am so happy my new OB is taking this serious and is willing to run tests for us. He was surprised it is taking so long for us to conceive!

Even though my doctor is being proactive about helping us conceive, we are still some what on a break. The last few weeks have been such a weight off my shoulders. I was so wrapped up in conceiving that my emotions were wrapped up in it all also. I feel like I lost myself in it all. I am happy now that I am not stressing over it. I am still temping, partially for TTC, and the other part to get more in touch with my body and it's cycles. BDing is no longer all about trying to catch the egg, but rather because we want to get it on ;-) DH & I both decided to NTNP (not try not prevent) for awhile. In a few months we may start actively trying again.. guess we'll just have to see when that time comes. As for now, it's nice just focusing on my DS and watching him grow up and learn new things!

Another topic I want to address is my emotions towards other people. I feel horrible for feeling the way I did when I got the news from SO MANY people all around the same time about their pregnancies and deliveries!! I am happy for each and every one of them! Some people this is their first.. and I remember being in that boat and feeling so many emotions when I found out I was pregnant to when I delivered my DS. I'm also happy for those friends that are due with their 2nd or 3rd.. it must be so exciting to have a sibling on the way! I look forward to the day my DS is a big brother!!

2010 brings change

These last few months have been so hard on me. I have officially watched everyone around me get pregnant- or give birth. I've kept a smile on my face and congratulated everyone that accomplished what I have hoped and dreamed for. I've gone through a cyclone full of emotions. Happiness, excitement, hope, disappointment, anxious, frustration, confusion, and now this... now depression. I've hoped for the best, only to receive nothing but disappointment. I've watched each EDD fade away and become just a day in the past. I've watched friends and family get their BFP's, grow their baby belly, and give birth to bundles of joy. I've watched everyone receive what I've been trying so hard for. And worst part of all, I've watched my heart hurt each and every month. And this month. This month I can't take it any more. This month was the straw that broke the camels back. This month.. I'm calling it quits. Because I can't take the hurt anymore. I can't continue to watch my hopes and dreams get crushed each month. I give up. I feel like maybe I just need to let go. Let go is my hopes and dreams. Let go and move on. Because I am tired of feeling like a failure. And that's exactly what I feel like. A failure.

I'm tired of everyone telling me "it will happen" or "you're trying to hard". I'm tired of hearing how "God has a plan for me". I'm just tired of it all. That's the WORST advice you can give me right now. In fact, I really don't want anyones advice. I feel like I am the only one going through this and that NO BODY understands.

So once this cycle is over, because I am sure it will be just another failed cycle, I am closing this blog. Because I've decided my heart just can't take this journey anymore...

Where are you 'O'!!

I know it's been awhile since I updated. And all my followers are probably wondering what the heck is going on. Some may assume "no news is good news"- but in this case. Not True.

No news= nothing new has happened! LOL

I am currently on CD19. My OPK from today *appears* to be +. I have been testing for the last 9 days and every one is negative, but today's looks positive. My temp also dropped really low. Now I just need to find the time to get some BD in! DH works a double today- is barely going to be home tmw- and then leaves all Sat-Mon.

Also a reminder. This is my first cycle using PRESEED. I sure hope that helps catch the egg!!

That is all I've got to update about. The 2ww is when I have more to blog about, and hopefully I will enter the 2ww in the next few days!!! =)

Stay tuned...

Chocolate hits the spot..

The other day DH & I were driving home and we stopped at the gas station to get some drinks. DH is a candy fanatic so of course he grabbed some candy too. While we were driving he held the chocolate bar up to my mouth (I was driving) and asked if I wanted a bite. Typically I would have said NO.. but this time I took a bite. DH sat back in his seat and started laughing and said... (these were his exact words) "So it is true... when a woman is on her period she craves chocolate!" LOL. I thought it was too funny that he noticed something like that.

Last night I was shopping for some last minute gifts when I came across these truffles @ Target. They are my absolute favorite chocolate truffles ever! Of course I grabbed a bag to take home and indulge in them when DS had gone to bed. They are so smooth and delicious.. I highly recommend you run out to Target and grab yourself a bag. They are on sale right now ;-)

Welcome back..

Okay, I am back! No more pity party, no more tears, I am back. Positive that NEXT month will be our month! This new cycle I am trying something new. I've noticed that around O time I don't see a lot of EWCM. EWCM is a very important part of conceiving. It's a "sperm friendly" mucous that helps the sperm get to their destination ;-) A lack of EWCM could mean the sperm can't move freely and get to the egg. Therefore I have decided to try a lubricant called Pre-Seed. Pre-Seed has been very successful with helping people get pregnant. It is a "sperm friendly" lub that helps the sperm move freely and reach the egg. The review on the product are outstanding. Most people become pregnant their first cycle using it. I ordered some last night and hopefully that will help make the difference this month.

DH & I were both so disappointed this past cycle. I guess we both thought a BFP was on its way... but instead AF arrived. Hopefully this new cycle is it!