Hi! *waves*
Remember Me?
It's been awhile since I updated, guess I just haven't felt like facing everyone each month saying the obvious "another BFN". And, guess what? This post is no different.
ANOTHER CYCLE.
According to my ticker today marks the ONE YEAR SIX MONTHS mark.
Exciting right? Yea, Not Really.
And who can celebrate such an exciting mile stone without lots of love from everyone! (Ya know, the love like babies being born left and right, oh and all the new BFP's popping up everywhere).
Aside from that, it's rather depressing to realize in 6 short months I will have hit the TWO YEAR mark. And I really don't want to hit that mark. I will feel like even more of a complete failure.
And if I haven't poured enough salt in my wound- let me just say DS will be turning 4 in 2 weeks. So if a miracle (and I use that term very loosely because I just can't seem to believe in miracles anymore) happens and we do get pregnant in the next few months, there will only be a 5 year gap between kids.
Kinda makes me feel like maybe we just shouldn't try anymore. Like maybe we should just get fixed so we have a reason to our infertility.. and we don't have to be THOSE people that have a kid in college and one in elementary school. And when we pick up our kid from elementary school the teacher asks if we're his/her grandparents.
Sorry for the pity party... it's been one of THOSE weeks. Which, BTW, my readers won't even understand what I mean, or how I feel, because I really don't think any of them have had one of THESE weeks that I'm referring to. And to throw in another "wtf is she talking about?" statement- I've created yet ANOTHER blog to talk about 'THIS' kind of week. Although at the moment I don't want to share the link to that blog, nor do I want to talk about it. (And only 1 person will understand the humor in that last statement).
Anyways, I am going to end my ramble on the note that, YES, to all those wondering, we are still TTC. And at the moment, my hope-o-meter is on the low side.
