New Doctor-- New Start

So last week I had my first appointment with my new doctor. I must say, he is AMAZING! In that one visit, he did almost more then my other doctor did in a year! He did an ultrasound of my ovaries and uterus. He said my uterus lining looked good, and my ovaries had cysts all over them, but he said they still looked good. He ordered a blood work-up for me, and talked to DH about getting a semen analysis. He even told us HE is the one who personally does the semen analysis, not a lab tech!! He put me on clomid for another month and wished us luck! It was an awesome visit, and he definitely helped boost my confidence in this TTC journey!! :)

A New Start.

A New Start. Yes. I am getting a fresh new start on this whole TTC thing.

With DH's current health insurance we are responsible for 50% of all things infertility related. Every time I stepped foot into my Dr's office and said the word "infertility" I was charged 50%. It was rather discouraging. I went for my annual pap smear last year, and my Dr started talking about test results, so of course he charged me 50% for that appointment. I was getting bills all the time for $75 just because we talked about my reproductive pluming not working! I had a bill for over $300 for just a few appointments, with no good results to show for it. In fact, really the only thing I got out of all those appointments was a schedule of when I could have sex with my DH.. and the advice of "try for 3 more months, if you don't get pregnant come back and see me"... every time I went and saw him. And on top of that $300+ bill I had for Dr's appointments, I also had already paid almost $100 for the HSG test.. and all the co-pays I had made when I went to the appointment. It was very frustrating. I felt as though I was being charged for no treatment. After all, NOTHING has changed in our situation! So after many attempts to get my bills resolved, I finally got ahold of someone who was, at first, completely unwilling to help, but later realized I was being wrongly billed. My insurance requires me to pay 50% of all infertility treatment. In my defense, I was NOT getting treatment. So after lots of anger, frustration, tears, etc... my Dr's office finally corrected THEIR mistake.. and I no longer have a huge bill with them!!

But even with my bill being resolved, I still have to continue with some sort of "treatment"... since I am still not pregnant. After much thinking and weighing the pros and cons, I decided to buy ANOTHER health insurance. Because DH is in the Army Reserves, we are eligible for Tricare Reserve Select. Tricare may not be everyones first choice for health insurance, but in my situation, TRS is the best choice I could get. Why? Because infertility treatment is 100% covered! The only thing that isn't covered is IVF (and I believe IUI also). BUT- if it came down to needing IVF, the Military (Navy I believe) Medical Hospital in San Diego is doing research and what not on IVF.. and I can ask to be in their "study" and have my IVF covered. But that is something we will think of in the future, if our new Dr is unable to help us.

Speaking of a new Doctor-- another reason I decided to purchase another health insurance package is because our current health insurance is an HMO. I have no problem with HMO's... but when it comes to finding a good Dr.. you don't have a lot of wiggle room. When I first met my previous Dr, I really liked him, but after a year of seeing him and him not doing anything, but bill me for treatment I never received, I decided it was time for someone else. I found (or was recommended) another new Dr, who has an amazing reputation, and is supposed to be really well trained with infertility. Tricare is a PPO, so I am able to see this new Dr (since he only accepts PPO's) and I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to make my first appointment with him! Our TRS is supposed to kick in 4/1/11.. so after that I will be able to make the appointment. I must say, I am a bit more hopeful switching to this new Dr. I really hope he is able to help us make our dream a reality. DH and I want baby #2 so bad, and I can't wait until DS is a big brother! Hopefully it wont take long to get pregnant with this new Dr's help. Our 1st step will probably be a semen analysis for DH. I also want to have a blood panel done again, to check all my hormone levels. I will definitely update again once we have our first appointment! :)

Hope-O-Meter. Zero.

Hi! *waves*

Remember Me?

It's been awhile since I updated, guess I just haven't felt like facing everyone each month saying the obvious "another BFN". And, guess what? This post is no different.

ANOTHER CYCLE.

According to my ticker today marks the ONE YEAR SIX MONTHS mark.

Exciting right? Yea, Not Really.

And who can celebrate such an exciting mile stone without lots of love from everyone! (Ya know, the love like babies being born left and right, oh and all the new BFP's popping up everywhere).

Aside from that, it's rather depressing to realize in 6 short months I will have hit the TWO YEAR mark. And I really don't want to hit that mark. I will feel like even more of a complete failure.

And if I haven't poured enough salt in my wound- let me just say DS will be turning 4 in 2 weeks. So if a miracle (and I use that term very loosely because I just can't seem to believe in miracles anymore) happens and we do get pregnant in the next few months, there will only be a 5 year gap between kids.

Kinda makes me feel like maybe we just shouldn't try anymore. Like maybe we should just get fixed so we have a reason to our infertility.. and we don't have to be THOSE people that have a kid in college and one in elementary school. And when we pick up our kid from elementary school the teacher asks if we're his/her grandparents.

Sorry for the pity party... it's been one of THOSE weeks. Which, BTW, my readers won't even understand what I mean, or how I feel, because I really don't think any of them have had one of THESE weeks that I'm referring to. And to throw in another "wtf is she talking about?" statement- I've created yet ANOTHER blog to talk about 'THIS' kind of week. Although at the moment I don't want to share the link to that blog, nor do I want to talk about it. (And only 1 person will understand the humor in that last statement).

Anyways, I am going to end my ramble on the note that, YES, to all those wondering, we are still TTC. And at the moment, my hope-o-meter is on the low side.